There is a moment each day before I go into the daycare when I sit in my car and take a deep breath. I exhale loudly, sit up straight to stretch my back, blink my eyes open wide, and will myself to get a second wind. Although the work day is over, the real work of the day has just begun….
I know I will walk through those daycare doors and I will be greeted with squeals and hugs. I’ll bend down to kiss them and squeeze them and kiss them some more because all of a sudden I’ll realize how desperately I missed them. I’ll ask them questions about their day and laugh at their responses. I’ll drive them home and we’ll get the mail and Maddie will pretend she’s gone missing and I’ll have to find her. I’ll unpack their backpacks and ooh and aah over their artwork. I’ll play with them and soak in their beings and be grateful. I’ll make them dinner and Katie will want to help and we’ll play “Happy Sad” around the table and wait for Daddy to come home. They will be demanding of my attention because they missed me too. I’ll give them a bath and we’ll cuddle on the couch in between loads of laundry and the dishes. I’ll try to talk to my husband but it will seem impossible above all their clatter and we’ll say we can just talk after we put them to bed but we both know by then we’ll be too tired. They will exhaust me until bedtime comes when I’ll kiss them once more and wish them the sweetest dreams. I’ll crawl into our bed, my body tired but my heart so full.
Tomorrow, there will be a moment before I go into the daycare when I sit in my car and take a deep breath.
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Your love for your children comes through so beautifully here. I especially like your phrases “soak in their beings” and the contrast of “my body tired but my heart so full.” Take that deep breath and savor these days! Thanks for sharing!
Oh Dana… as tired as you are … keep breathing and embrace the exhaustion. It goes so quickly. You will cherish the memories of these days. My husband and I always joke – We are living the dream! You are living it and this portion of it is fleeting. Continue to savor!
Clare
That’s a great post .. it really summed up how exhausting and rewarding it is to have young kids.
Lovely post. Love and happiness just overflow from this.
This so authentically captures how it felt during this time of our lives. I appreciate how you circle back at the end. You express some thoughts so expertly that at the end I felt a little tired. I was with you as your reader on your whirlwind evening. I also felt the love most of all.
So true! That love you share is so important and well worth being tired!
This was such a beautiful description of a mother’s love. I especially loved how you start taking a deep breath and circle back around to that same moment. Very powerful.
“They will exhaust me until bedtime comes when I’ll kiss them once more and wish them the sweetest dreams. I’ll crawl into our bed, my body tired but my heart so full”. I can feel the exhaustion……I can feel the love. Such a beautiful summary of what it feels like to be a working mom…..
Boy, I loved this. It brought back memories of daycare and of course, my son. Love is so big and yet here you capture it in the moment when Maddie pretends to go missing and you of course seek her out. It is always the finding and rarely the leaving that speaks so largely about love.
Thank you Dana.
You summed up the daily routine of working and pouring all of that stored up love from the day into your children in the evening perfectly! You’re right, it is sooo exhausting, but I love how you wrote about your heart being so full at the end of the day.
I love this post because I remember those times so well. I used to love subbing in districts 20 or so miles away because the drive there and back gave me time to breathe. It wasn’t that I didn’t miss and love my kids and my husband, it wasn’t because I didn’t think they missed and loved me. I simply needed a minute to call my own an breathe. Once I got that moment, I was good to go.
This feeling never leaves, even when it takes on different contexts later on, when they are older. This is what it means to love your children. Beautiful post, Dana.
In the end, you bring us right back to the beginning. Living is cyclical in nature. We repeat the same patterns, the same routines everyday. You make it sound so simple and satisfying.
I appreciate your honesty here. You took a small moment referring to two little munchkins you love with all your heart that is all your own.