I couldn’t blame her.
I couldn’t blame Katie because I hit the snooze button a couple of extra times that morning. I couldn’t blame Katie because I was nervous about leading a district-wide inservice that day. I couldn’t blame Katie because we were tripping over the painter’s tarps spread throughout our house. I couldn’t blame Katie because we were crammed in the crowded laundry room which was also doing double duty as our temporary kitchen. (We are remodeling.)
But when she discovered the cardboard hanger for her teddy bear’s outfits in the garbage can and let out a wail and a Mommy how could you throw this away…all the stresses of the morning bubbled to the surface and landed on her. My patience shattered and my voice thundered.
We drove to daycare in silence. Katie’s tears mixed with Maddie’s silence mixed with my regret.
I hung Katie’s backpack in her cubby. I knelt down beside her and wrapped her in my arms. “Mommy is sorry for yelling at you, Katie. I am very sorry.”
Katie smiled, and I kissed her cheek. “I love you, Katiebug,” I said into her ear. She didn’t answer.
And to be honest, I couldn’t blame her.