SOLSC Day 5: We’re the Same

Our three-year-old daughter, Katie, has already begun the age old game of “If I Don’t Like Mom’s Answer, I’ll Just Ask Dad.”  So, we had to explain to her… we’re the same.

“Katie,” we told her, “if you ask Daddy for something and he says ‘no,’ you shouldn’t come ask Mommy.  We’ll be the same.  If Daddy answers no, then Mommy answers no, too.  Okay?”

“Otay,” Katie pouted.

However, sometimes she needs a reminder.  Like last night, when Katie asked for a cookie (or a ‘tookie’ as the case may be) just minutes before dinner.

“Can I have a tookie, Daddy?”

“No, Mommy is fixing dinner.  No cookies before dinner.”

“Mommy?” Katie said.

“Yes, Katie?” I answered as I seasoned the mashed potatoes.

“Can I have a tookie?”

“Did you ask Daddy?” I replied.  Katie nodded.  “And what did Daddy say?”

“No,” Katie answered, her head hung down in defeat.

“We’re the same, remember?” I reminded her as I patted her head.  “If Daddy says no, Mommy says no, too.”

For now, we stand in solidarity against our curly-haired tookie monster.  Will we always be the same?  Someday, the questions will be a lot bigger than whether a tookie before dinner is acceptable or not.  There will be sleepovers and curfews and prom plans and keys to the car and but-all-my-friends-are-doing-it.  The issues will get tougher, and our parenting opinions may differ.

For now, though, we agree.  No tookies before dinner.  For now, we’re the same.

8th Annual Slice of Life Story Challenge.  Join at Two Writing Teachers.

8th Annual Slice of Life Story Challenge. Join at Two Writing Teachers.

20 thoughts on “SOLSC Day 5: We’re the Same

  1. Such a wonderful look at parenting. While there will certainly be times that you are not on the same page, I hope you can always find a common page for those little and for those humongous parenting decisions! .

  2. Parenting is never easy, but it’s even harder when Mom & Dad don’t agree. You are sending Katie a very important message. Yes, times will get harder, but agreement (and compromise) will make it easier.

  3. Great message that you are sending your daughter, and even though this will get harder and harder to do as she gets older, you are setting the foundation for success later! ~ Jen and Darla

  4. Is there any child who hasn’t tried this? As I got older I always liked, “Well, so-and-so’s parents are letting him do that.” Still got the same response from both.

    • When we heard, “Well, so-and-so’s parents are letting him do that.” we used to answer (very solemnly and with a straight face), “Well, I guess we just love you more.” It was tough for them to argue that one!

  5. Isabelle tries to play both of us against the other. She, too, is learning we’re the same! It’s an important lesson for them to learn and one we have to remember as they grow into big people with bigger demands.

  6. Dana I just love the way you tell a story, even a simple story about “tookies” just pulls me in and your endings are like little life lessons or thoughts.

  7. Dana, you do know how to tell a story. Even a little life lesson about a tookie. I think this is the hardest part of parenting — agreeing. Thanks for the reminder that it is a big deal, especially as the questions get bigger and harder to answer.

  8. A simple exchange that highlights the critical importance of parents presenting a united front. Our children attempt the divide and conquer approach at such an early age. What clever little things they are. I wish you all the luck in the world as your parent journey unfolds. You have made a wonderful start.

  9. Dana, I had a tookie talker too. 🙂 She’s now 20 but used to eat torn on the tob, called her brother, Connor, Tonnor and insisted on calling our new kitten, Pretty Kitty (I’ll let you translate that one yourself!). Thanks for the trip down memory lane!

  10. Oh the age old Mom vs. Dad. I love that you explained that you and your husband are ‘the same.’ That’s a great way to explain it! Although, when Katie didn’t get her tookie, I felt kind of bad for her. 🙂

  11. Dana, we’re leading parallel lives! I’m totally stealing the phrase, “We’re the same.” You should seriously write a parenting book. I would buy it in a heartbeat.

  12. This is what I am talking about…taking a small incident – related it to the larger issue and then reflecting on what parenting will be like in years to come. LOVE IT!!!! “We’re the same” is such a strong message and easy to understand. Great slice!

  13. “For now, we stand in solidarity against our curly-haired tookie monster.” Love this line and your easy manner of story-telling. You write with such clarity.

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