Our three-year-old daughter, Katie, has already begun the age old game of “If I Don’t Like Mom’s Answer, I’ll Just Ask Dad.” So, we had to explain to her… we’re the same.
“Katie,” we told her, “if you ask Daddy for something and he says ‘no,’ you shouldn’t come ask Mommy. We’ll be the same. If Daddy answers no, then Mommy answers no, too. Okay?”
“Otay,” Katie pouted.
However, sometimes she needs a reminder. Like last night, when Katie asked for a cookie (or a ‘tookie’ as the case may be) just minutes before dinner.
“Can I have a tookie, Daddy?”
“No, Mommy is fixing dinner. No cookies before dinner.”
“Mommy?” Katie said.
“Yes, Katie?” I answered as I seasoned the mashed potatoes.
“Can I have a tookie?”
“Did you ask Daddy?” I replied. Katie nodded. “And what did Daddy say?”
“No,” Katie answered, her head hung down in defeat.
“We’re the same, remember?” I reminded her as I patted her head. “If Daddy says no, Mommy says no, too.”
For now, we stand in solidarity against our curly-haired tookie monster. Will we always be the same? Someday, the questions will be a lot bigger than whether a tookie before dinner is acceptable or not. There will be sleepovers and curfews and prom plans and keys to the car and but-all-my-friends-are-doing-it. The issues will get tougher, and our parenting opinions may differ.
For now, though, we agree. No tookies before dinner. For now, we’re the same.