War

See More Slice of Life Writing over at Two Writing Teachers

See More Slice of Life Writing over at Two Writing Teachers

My husband and I are at war… The War of the Lights.  This war has waged on for over five years.  I will fight until victory.

I sat at the kitchen counter yesterday morning, working on a draft of some writing.  Writer’s notebook out, laptop open, coffee at my side.  My husband sat on the stool next to me and opened his laptop, too.  Time to get some work done before the kids wake up.  Click.  He turns on the light over our heads.  It was a sneak attack; I didn’t expect it.  I ignore the unnecessary light and keep writing.  Several minutes later, he gets up to get a drink.  Click.  He turns on another light as he nears the refrigerator.  He has a combat plan, and I am on the front lines. I keep quiet, waiting for his next move.  He walks over to sit down.  Click.  He turns on the light in the eat-in kitchen portion of the room where nobody is sitting.  I am under siege.  I glance over at him, and he smiles sweetly.  His tactics are subtle.  He advances slowly.

After a bit, we hear the girls waking up, so he heads upstairs.  I charge.  Click, click, click.  I turn off all the lights in the kitchen.  (Which is perfectly fine because it is the middle of the morning.)  I retreat quickly back to my seat.  That was a close battle, no winner declared.

Later that same evening, I go grocery shopping while my husband gives the girls a bath.  I return home, and the girls are clean and in their pajamas.  I head upstairs to put my shoes away.  Every light is on.  Every one.  Our bedroom, the bathroom, the hallway, Katie’s room, Maddie’s room.  I’ve been ambushed.  I shield my eyes and walk from room to room.  Click, click, click, click.

The War of the Lights wages on…

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22 thoughts on “War

  1. I think it has to do with your upbringing. We were trained to turn a light off if you were the last one to leave the room. We were also trained to close cupboard doors. I get really riled when people leave them open. The early lesson that didn’t stick was my mom’s “Clean as you go” mantra while cooking. I;d rather build a giant mess of dishes to clean. I think it wastes less water.

  2. Ha! I am Jerome in this piece. Brian threatens to install motion sensors on all of our lights because I always leave them on. 🙂 I like your setup.

  3. Oh the battles we wage! Keep up the good fight Dana, you will conquer the unnecessary lighting battalion. Now to train the soldiers to your side of the army.

  4. I have to share this with my husband because, we too, wage this war. Except I am the lights on lady! In fact at this moment the lights are on in the kitchen, table area, and family room! (Jay is at work of course!) Such a great Slice.

  5. You explained that well! The same things happens in our house. I have woken up in the middle of the night and discovered that many lights have been left on in my husband’s wake as he prepared for bed.

  6. Loved the insights into your war of the lights! That is too cute. Wonder what your enemy would have to say about this … or does he have no idea? 🙂 It’s funny the little things that get us. For me? The random stacks and paper piles on the kitchen counter. He can’t just have one big pile, everything is spread out because it’s all important, so he says. I’m losing this battle as well…

  7. The war of the lights….. it’s a worthy war it is, and one that you will eventually win if you get your girls to join you…..Good luck to you my friend! 🙂

  8. I am the same way!!! I guess we were just raised right, huh? I can’t stand to have lights on in empty rooms in the house! So, I was able to relate to every single word in your slice. Keep up the good fight!!!

  9. Ahaha! Tom and I are the same. I turn lights on during the day too. Not in rooms we’re not in though. He gets so mad. I am under siege. I glance over at him, and he smiles sweetly. His tactics are subtle. He advances slowly–I love that part. It was super cute to me. You wrote this in such a clever and funny way.

  10. Love the click.click.click. I am somewhere between the both of you. If it is early and I am not quite up I don’t want a lot of lights. I will just work with the bare minimum. However, if I am moving between rooms doing stuff everything is likely on until I realize I need to turn some off.

  11. This post is hilarious! A war that rages in many American households, I am sure. My husband is the light police in our house. But sometimes he will turn off lights when people are still in the room!

  12. This is awesome!! I once came home to every light, including closets, on in the house. Apparently they were playing hide and seek. I can function in the dark, so I’m with you. Turn them off!

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