Dear Weight Watchers,
Hi. It’s me again.
I know you thought you’d probably never hear from me again after the way I left.
First, let me apologize. I’m sorry for the things I said when we were last together. I don’t think you’re a “stupid program”, and I know it hurt when I called you a “bunch of crap.” You are not either of those things, and I’m sorry. I also don’t think you’re a “big pain in my a$*.” Sorry. I know my words hurt you.
Secondly, I want you to know that I’ve changed a bit since we were last together. I’ve grown – literally. I’ve gotten softer, too – also literally. I’m a different person now. You probably wouldn’t even recognize me. I even went out and bought all new clothes, in a bigger size. I swear, it’s like I’m a
fatter different version of myself.
I know this part is going to be hard for you to hear, but I think you should know the truth. In these few months that we lost contact, there was another program. It didn’t last long – 21 days to be exact. There was a new food plan and even some workout videos, but it was nothing, I repeat nothing, like you. It was short term. It was a fling.
So. Now that I’ve learned about proteins, lean meats, and clean eating… I’m wondering if maybe you and I could give it one more shot? I’m smarter now. I’m ready to make the commitment. I would love it if you and I were going strong by summer, if you know what I mean. I’ll give you the attention you deserve each and every day by counting my
stupid points, which I now realize is at the heart of our relationship. I won’t forsake you for late-night temptations. I won’t. And I won’t make up my own rules like “If I pee it out, it doesn’t count.” I’ll play by your rules this time.
Will you please accept my apology and give me a second chance?