As my husband changed the rails on the crib, I packed up the old crib bedding and took out the “big girl” sheets and blankets. I sat in the hallway outside of Katie’s bedroom, and I remembered.
I remembered when we converted Maddie’s crib to a toddler bed. I remembered packing up that same crib bedding and putting it in the spare room closet. I knew that someday I would take the bedding out again. I knew the spare room would someday be a nursery for another baby. I knew that Maddie would someday be a big sister.
This time was different. I packed up the crib bedding and put it in the garage sale pile. I know that I won’t take that bedding out again. There are no more spare rooms. Katie will never be a big sister.
I let this fact sink in for a minute, and a small part of me felt relieved at all of the things I won’t have to do again (sleepless nights, crying infants, spit up.) Yet, another small part of me felt sad at all of the things I won’t get to do again (holding my newborn baby, first smiles, baby cuddles.)
But the biggest part of me felt grateful. I remember choosing that crib bedding. I was at Babies R’ Us with my mom. My feet hurt, and my swollen belly was uncomfortable. I chose bedding that was neutral, not knowing if my baby would be a girl or a boy. I couldn’t have possibly known that my baby would be a Maddie, so full of sweetness and caution and curiosity. I definitely couldn’t have imagined that I would be blessed enough to use that bedding twice. That along would come a Katie, so full of love and spunk and humor. I couldn’t have known.
But I know now. And I am just so grateful.
So, with a sad sigh, I packed that crib bedding away for a garage sale. Someone will buy it. Maybe some young girl will come to the garage sale with her mom. Her feet will hurt and her swollen belly will be uncomfortable. She won’t know, either. She’ll walk down my driveway, with a bag full of crib bedding and her mind full of possibilities.
I went back into Katie’s room to see her climb into her new bed for the first time. I smiled. So many new memories, new adventures, await us. No need to get sappy over some bedding, right?